??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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