I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
