he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He better not be in your backpack
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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