just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
