it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
