almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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