I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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