i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
