If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
