dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
