The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
