I'm lost and stupid without you.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
