you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
