THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
