So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
