summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
