Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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