So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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