Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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