are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Terrible idea I love it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
