I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you never un-have a 4some
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
