Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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