dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
