Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
