You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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