About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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