he wants to bone in the snuggie
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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