PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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