9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
