She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
