I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
