Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
