you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
