Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This house was built for laser tag.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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