It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize