Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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