At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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