Heybabeimwearingurpanties
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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