question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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