our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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