you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize