That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
