i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
