Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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