It's Friday. Sex?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
