Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
