GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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