i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
