he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
