i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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