i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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