this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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