she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
