every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
