I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize