every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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